Self Care for Grief
Grief can express in many ways, from a bereavement of a loved one, a pet, or the loss of something, for example the realisation of not having children, or the ending of a relationship, or a change. I share all the ways to receive soothing support, as self-care, or from restorative treatments too.
Grief is processing a loss of something or someone and is really our great ability to love and appreciate a person, place or thing. At times it can be incredibly overwhelming, you can hear the phrase, struck with grief, being consumed and unable to do simple tasks. A mourning period is essential to process emotions, reflecting, cherishing and remembering what about that person or thing you loved and appreciated.
Everyone processes grief in their own way and time, for some it might feel easier to push feelings to one side to begin with, or have denial of a loss. It can even be even years later that you fully experience grief. It is in some ways a gradual unfolding of learning to process our thoughts and emotions overall.
There also can be other emotions stirring such as a clear seeing at the shortness of life and to not sweat the small stuff, this can jolt us into all sorts of behaviours. There may also be regret and or anger at something that did or didn’t happen.
Its important to know all of these strong emotions and thoughts are natural. They are also allowed to be in their very essence of energies in the body and with time and support there may even be learnings from dealing with this and from the loss of the connection.
Just as we process it uniquely, so to we can find ways to support us uniquely.
I share some self-care tips at home for grief.
These are suggestions only and at any point if you are really struggling then below there is practitioner supports further below too.
* Arnica – a Homeopathic first aid remedy in the strength of 30 c. Taken from the arnica flower, pictured below. It is specifically good for grief, shock and trauma. Bringing you back into your heart and soothing from emotional and physical stress.
* Star of Bethlehem Bach Flower Remedy – this is a flower remedy to support your body, emotions and mind in dealing with grief, stress and loss of a change.
* Writing down everything you feel onto some paper – giving yourself permission to unload whatever feels strong or that you want to write about onto paper. It doesn’t need to make sense, no one else needs to read this, it is a process of removing yourself a little from what is coming up for you.
* Reflect on the love and appreciation – of the person, place or thing you are grieving for, you can also write this down as a cathartic process too. Holding your hands to your heart and really connecting in with that feeling, colour or sense of energy in your heart.
* Focusing on what you feel will support you in this moment – a cup of tea and a piece of cake, a soothing bath, a walk with a friend, slowly you will heal. One day at a time – ask yourself what kind act can you do to support yourself today.
* Utilising your support network – whatever that looks like, a pet, family, friends, partner, neighbour, trusting in the people around you to offer you love and support.
* Goodbye ceremony – Depending on your practices/rituals, I enjoy connecting with spirit guides and angels and asking for their guidance in the transition from the physical to the energetic realm, as I feel they have more awareness of this realm. You don’t need to take it that far, if this isn’t for you, it could be as simple as lighting a candle and holding an image of the loss in your heart, or bringing it to a meditation or taking a few breaths after reflecting. Do something that feels right for you and a familiar way to connect with the person or thing you have lost.
* Visualisations – imagine saying to the person or people involved anything you wanted to say that perhaps you didn’t have time for. You can imagine them listening to you and then it all floating away, like a basket on a river, or a washing away with water or a colour if that helps. This supports beginning to find closure and some distance from yourself and the person or thing you are wishing to let go of.
As always, home care tips serve as a great purpose until you see more support is needed, then below is support from practitioners.
It may be a practitioner of some sort can help you make amends, perhaps there were things unresolved you now wish to process, or can help you move forward out of grief and putting into place now any learnings.
- Bereavement counsellors – wonderful support if you want to speak to a trained professional in processing your loss.
- Bowen for grief – whether we logically understand it or not our body is a connected unit and our thoughts and emotions can also be stored in our muscle memory and affect our physical body. Grief can affect the lungs, so a cough may be present, or feeling tightness around the chest area and other parts of the body. Such as stiffness, sore lower back and exhaustion from emotional stress. Bowen is a gentle realignment treatment which releases tension or stuckness from fascia, which is a web that surrounds all our muscles, tissues and cells. Bowen provides deep relaxation, releasing of traumas and tissue tension. Usually after a session you feel soothed, sleep better and have less pain. Read more about Bowen here.
- Reiki for connecting in to your body and with a loved one – a beautiful gentle treatment to feel supported by angels, spirits and guides that are unseen beings supporting you, bringing you love, light and healing energy to your body, emotions and energetic field. Pouring this beneficial energy into each chakra point, releasing negativity and any blocked energy that you no longer need. Bringing you closer to any supports that could aid your healing situation, including sometimes messages from a loved one, or a deeper connection with them and, or a deeper settling into the process of change. Read more about Reiki here.
- Mbit coaching – this is a powerful way to connect in with your body and three brains, (head, heart and gut) We become connected to any unresolved feelings, see patterns and discover inner guidance and support that might aid processing the change. Especially helpful if forgiveness is needed, or supporting a decision making process, or finding compassion for your self or the thing you have lost. Read more about Mbit Coaching here.
As always reach out here for support should you need anything.