How to Make Better Decisions
Are you struggling to make a decision and get clear on something? Perhaps you have made a few rushed decisions before, that you realise didn’t sit right. You might find yourself at the point of wrestling with yourself and forcing an outcome to appear?
It is sometimes wiser to commit to not making a decision at all (which is also a decision), take stock, unravel and be gentle on yourself. Relaxation offers the best support and trust in knowing you will arrive at a clear decision when the time is right, rather than forcing or rushing.
We are mostly in the mindset of having things we want quickly, taking medication to numb the pain, 24 hour shopping, fast deliveries, the amazing internet at offering the answer we want to anything in just a few moments, but what about making decisions? For sure we can ask the internet or ask friends what they would do, but ultimately the decision comes from us. There is also a responsibility in honouring that it is our choice, embodying that fully and taking ownership however the decision may unfold.
I share 6 decision making tips to help you relax and make better decisions that sit right with you.
1. Getting out in the fresh air
When we are sat around getting caught up in thinking, actually the freshness and change of scenery and getting in a different head space (literally) is a real support. Whether it’s the vastness of nature, seeing the bigger power than us, the sea, or a change of scene in a city, a fresh perspective is nourishing. A mountain top perspective is ideal, you don’t need to literally climb up somewhere higher, although you could, you can also imagine this in your mind and looking down from a birds eye view at a mini you and the decision choices.
2. Focus on relaxing in your body and mind
Do whatever relaxes you, such as that refreshing post exercise feeling, your body being filled with fresh oxygen and energy. A relaxing yoga class, meditation, a healing treatment, or dancing. Whatever it is, do and enjoy that fully and be as present as you can with that. I have often read sometimes the best decisions come when you are in the bath. There is a gift in giving yourself a break and simply relaxing in the here and now, which can sometimes bring new insights rather than actively trying to think about it.
3. Be with friends
This may seem like a distraction list, but actually it’s getting you to re-connect with yourself in a round about way, so you are fuller on enjoyment, relaxation and kindness to yourself. Socialising with friends can bring us a smile, no matter how up tight we may seem in making this decision, it will happen easier if we can just lighten and relax a little. It may be we get to talk about it with our friends, the ones we trust and opening up and sharing can be soothing in itself. Your friend or friends need not say anything, simply listen to you, you can also take note of anything they do share and also know this is for you to reach a decision that sits right.
4. Write it all down
Allow yourself to go there, with a pen and paper, all the things we hope, feel, hate, whatever it is, start by offloading it from your brain. This can look like writing a list of pros and cons about both decisions, which can allow you to see it all from both perspectives. It can be you re-visit this list, adding new insights, as it might be you have more to add, or actually what seemed like a block yesterday, is actually not a problem today. I would suggest setting a time limit on yourself for doing this, which can help bring focus in a shorter amount of time.
5. Focus on your loves
Reminding yourself of your qualities, your strengths, what you enjoy doing, can help shift you into a more abundant feeling. When we make decisions from scarcity and lack, it is harder to see the fuller picture and we want to focus on feeling more nourished in our self, to make the best decision we can. It may also be appropriate to remember any goals or ambitions you have and consider how this decision may support in bringing into your life what you really want.
6.Visualise both sides of the decision playing out
For those that have a more visual display, i.e. images/colours work more for you than words, you can visualise both sides of the decision playing out in your mind as if a yes looks like this, a no looks like that and notice how you feel in your head, heart and gut area as you do that. It might be a lighter or heavier feeling in your body, change of pace, temperature, sense or a change in how you experience both decisions, try as best you can to be aware of changes to your body and emotions as you do this. This is a simple exercise to test out and to not get too caught up in the thinking here, but it may bring knowledge to feeling more drawn or connected to one aspect of the decision.
If you are struggling with any of these exercises or in the decision then of course seeing a trained professional has its place too.
Mbit Coaching is a beautiful way to ask our three brains, head, heart and gut for their wisdom. Neuroscience now shows that neuro pathways are found in our heart and gut area, which demonstrates our natural intelligence we have to use there. Our heads offer creativity, our hearts compassion and our gut courage. Ideally we want all three brains aligned and listened to when making a decision that sits right, literally that sits right in our body and brains. You may find that your head wants one thing, but your heart or gut wants another and can often be why there is a struggle or wrestle in decision making. This is a beautiful relaxing process where we realise we have so much knowledge already within us to support ourselves.
Reiki also offers beautiful insights and asks for guided support from unseen beings, using oracle cards and light energy, which helps in removing blocks to chakras and can reveal a fresher energy and increased insights into what could support you.
Ultimately decisions can often work themselves out and knowing we can always change our mind or simply lean for the next decision. So, the key is relaxation, self care, doing what you love and enjoy and using mind visualising or writing to support you in becoming clear.
Reach out if you need any support with this.
Love Emily x